Adapt Instead of Argue…

Adapt Instead of Argue…

As a newlywed I have been learning so many different things about my spouse, living with someone, and also what it means to be a wife. One of the many joys of marriage is that you get to pick up on all of the little things your man does that may seem odd or strange to you. Mind you- these may not be bad things, they’re just different from how you would do something.

For instance, when it came to decorating our apartment, I pretty much had free reign to make it look exactly how I liked it- warm, cozy, and inviting. Thankfully, those were all things we could agree on. One thing we didn’t always agree on was my constant desire to stylize every inch of space in our home; every surface, area, nook and cranny had to look like it came out of a magazine. And of course as I made my way through our apartment I arrived in some areas that we designated as “his” area. And while they were small, I couldn’t help but keep continue to find myself making little changes here and there to things like his dresser or his bed side table. During the day I would switch things around or try something different and when he would come home from work I was eager to hear his praise at how much he loved when I changed around his things to make them “look better”. But much to my dismay, when he would arrive home and look at his dresser and night stand… no encouraging words, no accolades of appreciation for what I had done. Instead, I got the sweetest and kindest words a man could have said, “Babe, you know it’s okay for me to have my space too, right?”

Ai yai yai. Guilt hit me like a punch in the stomach.

I immediately felt so bad for inserting myself into his areas (even as small as they were). I remembered that this was OUR home that WE share together, and how alienated it must make him feel if he walks into our apartment and it feels more like my home rather than both of ours. The next day I put the things he wanted out back where they belonged and promised myself that no matter how much it irked me, I wouldn’t completely take over anymore.

After all, this is our home that we are creating together. And, a lesson I always need to remind myself of- nothing is perfect, and grasping for perfection is futile and waste of my time and emotion.

When sharing scenarios such as this with a dear friend, she very wisely stated, “Sometimes in marriage you adapt to things because it is important to your husband.” That was exactly what this was- making a small change in my mind to give something to him. Adapting to his style. Adapting to how he has to have the tv and radio volume on an even number. Adapting to the fact that he refills the toilet paper roll over rather than under. All of these little quirks may be different from what I would do, but they are what makes him who he is; and he is my man and my true love.

So I’ll just keep adapting. What sort of things have you had to adapt to?

Do it Scared…

Do it Scared…

I read something once posted on social media that said, “If you can’t beat fear, do it scared.” Boom. That hit me like a ton of bricks. There were several different instances in my life where fear held me back from trying something or beginning something. Fear of failure, of not being good enough, fear of not reaching my goal or feeling inadequate. These trepidations would creep up on my and strangle my motivation and drive.

Fear overtook me when it came to moving to a new state with my husband. Fear overtook me when it came to (and still comes to) pursuing my dream job and establishing a career.

This is still something I’m working through in my life right now and I’m still trying to push my fear aside and think of all the positive aspects that will come of me taking those first steps and walking towards what is in front of me.

So each day, my mantra has become, if you can’t beat fear, do it scared. Another quote that I love is “Bloom where you are planted.” Each day that I take a step forward and do something even when I’m afraid of failure, I take a step farther away from that same fear that seeks to steal me joy and keep me from the potential God has in store for me. Each day I walk towards my goals and my dreams is a day that I continue to bloom in my own life and become the person I want to be, and the person Christ desires for me to be.

So let’s take a step, just one step forward. It gets easier with each step we take. Bloom where you are planted. And if you can’t beat fear, do it scared.

What things in life cause you to struggle with fear? How do you beat your fear?

Am I Living My Fullest Life…

Am I Living My Fullest Life…

One thing I always come back to is this- why am I not doing everything I can do in order to live my life to the fullest? Our lives should have vibrancy, purpose, passion and joy in every single day. Even on the hardest and worst days that we face- there is always the opportunity to recognize the joy and beauty in our lives. Let’s not lose sight of this friends; and may we always continue to follow and pursue the dreams which God has given us the talent to accomplish. We should recognize and use these gifts to bring glory to Him every day, rather than gain attention for ourselves. Let us be a light in this dark world. Show love where there is hate and intolerance. Bring peace to harried and aggravated situations. And moreover; let us pray without ceasing, which is what we are called to do.

Trust me, this encouragement is as much to myself as it is to you today. Let’s be the counteracting factor to the chaos that can spin around us. Lift people up, don’t compete with them. Love them unconditionally, don’t compare yourself to them. Savor and pursue the relationships in your life.

So stop reading, close your computer and go do something to add some light to the world. Give yourself credit for what you do well, recognize hat, and practice it in order to lift someone else up. Always remember- you have value and have things to add to this world.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” -Matthew 5:13-16

When You Have Something to Say…

When You Have Something to Say…

When you don’t feel like a blogger, but you have something to say || Let me just say this has been my mindset for the past few months. The thought of actually establishing, creating, and maintaining a blog was an intimidating thought. And then I remembered, life is too short not to be doing things that inspire us. There are so many facets to our identity; we have so many different purposes in our lives. Perhaps amateur blogger can take up just a small corner of my life resume for a little while. Who know what will come of it, who knows if anyone will even read these posts. Even if this endeavor is therapeutic and thought provoking to only myself, then it was worth it. Like I already said… someone once told me I was good with words, so here’s a few words strung together I hope they may in some way relate to you, uplift you, encourage you, or many even challenge or inspire you || No matter what, I hope that if anyone reads these posts, that when they leave this page, they turn around and choose to live their life fully and show love and kindness to others.